How to Recognize the Signs Someone Is Using You

When someone is using you, it means they are manipulating or taking advantage of you for their own benefit. Have you ever gotten the feeling that someone is manipulating you for their benefit? Or that they care more about what you can offer them than they do about you? In these situations, it’s possible that you’re being used.

When someone says they feel “used” by someone it typically means the person feels their rights have either been violated or they have been taken advantage of in some way, says Meghan Marcum, PsyD, chief psychologist at AMFM Healthcare.

"In some cases, the individual being used may not recognize the pattern until long after the behaviors first start. On other occasions, the individual is keenly aware they have been manipulated for another person’s gain right away,” says Marcum.

Past relationships—sometimes going back to childhood—can play a role in adult relationship dynamics. For instance, people who have grown up in a positive family climate may be more assertive and therefore less likely to be taken advantage of.

This article helps you identify some signs that you’re being used and suggests some strategies to help you put a stop to it.

Sometimes it is easy to spot the signs that someone is using you, but it other cases, this behavior that be much more subtle. While everyone’s circumstances are different, these are some signs that someone may be using you, according to Marcum:

Signs someone is using you may vary depending on the nature of the relationship. A friend who is using you may only want to do things together at their convenience. They may expect you to listen to them, but not be willing to hear what you have to say.

In a relationship, being used might involve selfishness and disinterest in your needs. It may also involve someone only being interested in a sexual relationship while refusing to make any other type of emotional commitment.

It never feels good for someone to take advantage of you. It can make you feel poorly about yourself and take a negative toll on your relationships. It can also make it harder to trust other people in the future. According to Marcum, here are some of the ways that you might be affected if someone has been using you:

Being taken advantage of can lead to significant mental health problems, especially if you have been used or harmed in a previous relationship. It can manifest symptoms associated with anxiety, depression, and trauma. Over time, you may have difficulty trusting others and forming new relationships.

Being used is definitely not a sign of a healthy relationship. It means one person is taking excessively while the other is making all the sacrifices.

It disrupts the power balance within the relationship. In a healthy relationship, both partners would be responsible for providing support, trust, and emotional security to their partner.

Marcum lists some steps you can take to avoid being used:

Being used is not a good feeling and it can lead to mental health difficulties as well as relationship-related issues. Identifying the signs that someone is using you, setting boundaries with them, and seeking help from loved ones or a mental health professional can help you process how you feel about being used and in turn, work to help prevent it.