现代大学英语精读第二版（第二册）学习笔记（原文及全文翻译）

Remember, We're Raising Children, Not Flowers!

Jack Canfield

David, my next-door neighbor, has two young kids aged five and seven. One day he was teaching his seven-year-old son Kelly how to push the gas-powered lawn mower around the yard. As he was teaching him how to turn the mower around at the end of the lawn, his wife, Jan, called to him to ask a question. As David turned to answer the question, Kelly pushed the lawn mower right through the flowerbed at the edge of the lawn—leaving a two-foot wide path leveled to the ground.

When David turned back around and saw what had happened, he began to lose control. David had put a lot of time and effort into making those flower beds the envy of the neighborhood. As he began to raise his voice to his son, Jan walked quickly over to him, put her hand on his shoulder and said, "David, please remember... we're raising children, not flowers!"

Jan reminded me how important it is as a parent to remember our priorities. Kids and their self-esteem are more important than any physical object they might break or destroy. The window pane shattered by a baseball, a lamp knocked over by a careless child or a plate dropped in the kitchen are already broken. The flowers are already dead; I must remember not to add to the destruction by breaking a child's spirit and deadening his sense of liveliness.

I was buying a sport coat a few weeks ago and Mark Michael, the owner of the store, and I were discussing parenting. He told me that while he and his wife and seven-year-old daughter were out for dinner, his daughter knocked over her water glass. After the water was cleaned up without any recriminating remarks from her parents, she looked up and said, "You know, I really want to thank you guys for not being like other parents. Most of my friends' parents would have yelled at them and given them a lecture about paying more attention. Thanks for not doing that!"

Once, when I was having dinner with some friends, a similar incident happened. Their five-year-old son knocked over a glass of milk at the dinner table. When they immediately started in on him, I intentionally knocked my glass over, too. When I explained how I still knock things over even at the age of 48, the boy started to beam and the parents seemingly got the message and backed off. How easy it is to forget that we are all still learning.

I recently heard a story from Stephen Glenn about a famous research scientist who had made several very important medical breakthroughs. He was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who asked him why he was able to be so much more creative than the average person. What set him so far apart from others?

He responded that, in his opinion, it all came from an experience with his mother that occurred when he was about two years old. He had been trying to remove a bottle of milk from the refrigerator when he lost his grip on the slippery bottle and it fell, spilling its contents all over the kitchen floor—a veritable sea of milk!

When his mother came into the kitchen, instead of yelling at him, giving him a lecture or punishing him, she said, "Robert, what a great and wonderful mess you have made! I have rarely seen such a huge puddle of milk. Well, the damage has already been done. Would you like to get down and play in the milk for a few minutes before we clean it up?"

Indeed, he did. After a few minutes, his mother said, "You know, Robert, whenever you make a mess like this, eventually you have to clean it up and restore everything to its proper order. So, how would you like to do that? We could use a sponge, a towel or a mop. Which do you prefer?" He chose the sponge and together they cleaned up the spilled milk.

His mother then said, "You know, what we have here is a failed experiment in how to effectively carry a big milk bottle with two tiny hands. Let's go out in the back yard and fill the bottle with water and see if you can discover a way to carry it without dropping it." The little boy learned that if he grasped the bottle at the top near the lip with both hands, he could carry it without dropping it. What a wonderful lesson!

This renowned scientist then remarked that it was at that moment that he knew he didn't need to be afraid of making mistakes. Instead, he learned that mistakes were just opportunities for learning something new, which is, after all, what scientific experiments are all about. Even if the experiment "doesn't work," we usually learn something valuable from it.

Wouldn't it be great if all parents would respond the way Robert's mother responded to him?

Let's remember that our children's spirits are more important than any material things. When we do, self-esteem and love blossom and grow more beautifully than any bed of flowers ever could.

One last story that illustrates the application of this attitude in an adult context was told by Paul Harvey on the radio several years back. A young woman was driving home from work when she snagged her fender on the bumper of another car. She was in tears as she explained that it was a new car, only a few days from the showroom. How was she ever going to explain the damaged car to her husband?

The driver of the other car was sympathetic, but explained that they must note each other's license numbers and registration numbers. As the young woman reached into a large brown envelope to retrieve the documents, a piece of paper fell out. In a heavy masculine scrawl were these words: "In case of accident... remember, honey, it's you I love, not the car!"

记住，我们是在养小孩，不是在养花

杰克·坎菲尔德

我的邻居大卫有两个小孩，一个5岁，另一个7岁。一天，大卫教他7岁的儿子凯利如何使用气动割草机割草。当教到怎样在草坪尽头将割草机掉头时，他的妻子简突然喊他，问点事情。当大卫转过身回答简的问题时，凯利把割草机推到了草坪边的花圃上——在原本美丽的花圃上留下了一条2英尺宽的小径。

大卫转过身，面对眼前的情景，怒不可遏。要知道，这个花圃花费了大卫很多时间和精力才弄成今天这个样子，邻居们都对这个花圃无比羨慕。他提高嗓门准备训斥凯利时，简快步地走到他身边，用手轻轻地拍了拍他的肩膀，说：“大卫，别忘了——我们是在养小孩，而不是在养花！”

简的话提醒了我：作为父母弄清楚自身的特质有多么重要。孩子以及他们的自尊要比他们会打破或损坏的任何东西都要重要得多啊！那些曾经孩子们用棒球砸坏的窗户、不小心碰倒的台灯以及厨房里掉在地上摔碎的碟子都是已经毁坏了的东西。花圃里被割掉的花已经不能复原，我们就不要再去伤害孩子的心灵，削减他们的活力了。

几个星期以前，我去一家服装店买运动衣，顺便和店主马克·麦克尔讨论了一些有关为人父母的问题。他告诉我说，有一次，他和他的妻子以及他们7岁大的女儿出去吃晚餐时，他的女儿不小心把水杯打翻了。他和妻子并没有责备女儿，而是把水渍擦得干干净净。女儿抬起头看着他们说：“谢谢爸爸妈妈！你们知道，我很多朋友的父母在发生了这样的事时通常都会对他们大嚷大叫，给他们讲大道理，要他们以后多加小心。而你们却不像他们那样，我真的很感谢你们！”

有一次，我和几位朋友共进晚餐，类似的事情发生了。他们5岁的儿子不小心弄翻了桌子上的一杯牛奶。朋友夫妇开始齐声责备起他来。这时，我也故意把我的杯子碰翻了。我向朋友夫妇解释：我虽然48岁了，也有打翻东西的时候。那个男孩也愉快地微笑起来，朋友夫妇似乎明白了我的意思，不再生气地指责孩子。我们是多么容易忘记我们仍需要不断学习呀！

最近，我从斯蒂芬·格伦那儿听说了一位著名科学家的故事。这位科学家曾在医学领域取得过十分重要的突破。有个报社记者曾经采访过他，问他为什么会比一般人有创造力得多，究竟是什么使他能够超乎凡人呢？

他说，在他看来，这一切都应与两岁时他和母亲的一次经历有关。当时，他想从冰箱里拿一瓶牛奶。可是瓶子太滑了，他没有抓住，牛奶瓶子掉在了地上，牛奶溅得满地都是——看上去简直是一片牛奶的海洋。

他的母亲跑到厨房，并没有对他大嚷大叫，也没有狠狠地教训或惩罚他，只是说：“哇！罗伯特！你制造的麻烦可真是棒极了！我还从来没有见过这么大的一片牛奶呢！哎，反正奶瓶已经摔碎了，在我们把它打扫干净以前，你想不想在牛奶中玩几分钟呢？”

他还真的在牛奶中玩了起来。几分钟后，母亲对他说道：“罗伯特，要知道，无论什么时候，当你制造了像这样又脏又乱的场面时，你都必须要把它打扫干净，并且要把每件东西按原样放好。那么你打算怎么收拾呢？我们可以用海绵、毛巾或者拖把来打扫。你想用哪一种呢？”他选择了海绵。很快，他们就一起将那满地的牛奶打扫干净了。

然后，他的母亲又对他说：“罗伯特，刚才你用两只小手拿大牛奶瓶的试验已经失败了。现在我们就到后院去，把瓶子装满水，看看你有没有办法把它拿起来还不会掉。”小罗伯特发现只要用双手抓住瓶子顶部靠近瓶嘴的地方，瓶子就不会从他的手中滑掉。这堂课真是棒极了！

然后，这位著名的科学家说，从那时起，他知道他不必害怕犯任何错误，因为他知道错误往往是学习新知识的良机。科学实验也正是这样，即使实验失败了，我们还是可以从中学到很多有价值的东西。

如果天下所有的父母都能像罗伯特的母亲教育罗伯特那样来教育子女的话，那岂不是太好了吗？

让我们牢记：孩子的心灵比世上任何物质的东西都要重要！只要我们永远牢记这一点，那么，自尊和爱的花朵就会比花圃中的任何花儿都开得灿烂、美丽！

最后一个故事是几年前曾经在收音机里听保罗·哈维讲的，故事说明用同样的态度处理成人之间的关系有着异曲同工之妙。有个年轻的女子下班开车回家，路上她的车的挡泥板撞在了另一辆车的保险杠上。她泪流满面地说，这是一辆新车，刚刚买回来没几天，回家她该如何向丈夫交代啊？

与之相撞的那辆车的司机虽满怀同情，但仍表示他们应该记下彼此的驾照号和车牌号。当这位年轻女子从棕色的大文件袋中取出有关文件时，一张纸条掉了出来。只见上面用男人潦草的笔迹写着：“万一发生事故……请记住，亲爱的，我爱的是你，不是车！”

Key Words:

lawn        [lɔ:n]      

n. 草地，草坪

n. 上等细麻布

kitchen   ['kitʃin]   

n. 厨房，(全套)炊具，灶间

careless  ['kɛəlis]   

adj. 粗心的，疏忽的

n. 不关心的，粗心

shoulder ['ʃəuldə] 

n. 肩膀，肩部

v. 扛，肩负，承担，(用肩

baseball  ['beis.bɔ:l]      

n. 棒球

control    [kən'trəul]      

n. 克制，控制，管制，操作装置

vt. 控制

shattered       ['ʃætəd]  

adj. 破碎的；极度疲劳的 v. 打碎；削弱；使心烦意

pane       [pein]     

n. 窗玻璃，方框，方格 v. 嵌窗玻璃

destruction    [di'strʌkʃən]   

n. 破坏，毁灭，破坏者

creative   [kri'eitiv] 

adj. 创造性的

beam      [bi:m]     

n. 光线，(光线的)束，(横)梁，桁条

intentionally   [in'tenʃənli]    

adv. 有意地，故意地

incident  ['insidənt]      

n. 事件，事变，插曲

minutes  ['minits] 

n. 会议记录，(复数)分钟

remove   [ri'mu:v] 

v. 消除，除去，脱掉，搬迁

n. 去除

sponge   [spʌndʒ]

n. 海绵，海绵状的东西

vt. 用海绵擦拭，

puddle    ['pʌdl]    

n. 水坑，地上积水，胶泥， v. 搅浊，在泥污中打滚，

restore    [ri'stɔ:]    

vt. 恢复，修复，使复原

effectively      [i'fektivli]

adv. 事实上，有效地

eventually      [i'ventjuəli]    

adv. 终于，最后

kitchen   ['kitʃin]   

n. 厨房，(全套)炊具，灶间

veritable ['veritəbl]

adj. 真实的，确实的，真正的

refrigerator    [ri'fridʒə.reitə]

n. 冰箱

context   ['kɔntekst]     

n. 上下文，环境，背景

respond  [ris'pɔnd]

v. 回答，答复，反应，反响，响应

blossom ['blɔsəm]

n. 花，开花，全盛期

vi. 开花，成长

valuable  ['væljuəbl]     

adj. 贵重的，有价值的

n. (pl.)贵

license    ['laisəns] 

n. 执照，许可证，特许

vt. 允许，特许，

fell   [fel] 

动词fall的过去式

n. 兽皮

retrieve   [ri'tri:v]   

vt. 挽回，恢复，回忆，补偿

vi. 找回猎

renowned      [ri'naund]      

adj. 有名的，有声誉的

envelope ['enviləup]     

n. 信封，封皮，壳层

sympathetic   [.simpə'θetik] 

adj. 同情的，共鸣的

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