Why Explaining 'The N

Every black person who lives in the United States at some point or another comes to accept one thing: the “N-word” is not going away . Whether you use it or not, whether you are OK with it or deeply offended by it, it’s a word weighted down with so much history and so much pain that is impossible to avoid. (We have left the word uncensored in the discussion that follows.)

The general consensus among most black people is that “nigger” is a word best left for us to grapple with. In other words: non-black people — and especially white people — shouldn’t use it. That means colloquially or derogatorily, in context or out. And honestly, we know you’re going to use it anyway, but don’t use it around us.

It would take too long to unpack all the arguments and counterarguments about why white people should avoid the word altogether. Countless people have explained why there are no special excuses or circumstances for white people saying nigga, and have outlined why this is not a double standard.

What’s rarely unpacked, though, is the emotional and spiritual labor that goes into trying to explain to non-black people why they shouldn’t say it. Netflix’s “Dear White People” illustrates this frustration beautifully.

Episode five of Netflix’s new series “Dear White People” is the most talked about episode of the show, for good reason. The episode, directed by Oscar-winner Barry Jenkins, follows a day in the life of Reggie (Marque Richardson) ― a “woke” leader of the fictional Winchester University’s Black Student Union who pines after student activist Sam (Logan Browning).