剧情简介:

　　When flu season hits Medford, Sheldon takes extreme measures to remain healthy.

音频台词对照版公众号：易用美剧

明喻直接地比较两个有共同特征的事物

A simile directly compares two things,

并用"像"与"如"来连接

using the words "Like" and "As""

"我睡觉沉得像个木头"

"I slept like a log"

"我饿得像只马"

"I'm hungry as a horse"

"你的爱就像劣药"

"Your love is like bad medicine."

这是歌手邦乔飞的歌词

That's Bon Jovi.

好吧

Okay.

他的头发超赞

His hair is awesome.

接下来

Moving on.

隐喻与明喻就不一样了

Metaphors are different from similes.

很多人都说我有洁癖

I've been called a germophobe,

但我觉得打个喷嚏还是可以忍受的

but I do find a single sneeze acceptable.

有可能是因为灰尘 过敏

It could be caused by dust, allergies--

或者各种能让你呼吸道不适的东西

really, whatever nasal irritant floats your boat.

但是呢...

However...

在流感季节

during flu season...

打第二个喷嚏就代表要天降瘟疫了

...a second sneeze means a plague is upon the land,

所有人只能自求多福

and it's every man for himself.

你要去哪里

Where do you think you're going?

远离你

Away from you.

为什么

Why's that?

我还想活着

I want to live.

我没生病 回座位坐好

I'm not sick. Get back in your seat.

不用了 谢谢

No, thank you.

你懂校规

You know the rules.

没有同意证不许离开教室

You can't leave without a hall pass.

那我能要一张同意证吗

May I have a hall pass?

不行 不给

No, you may not.

回座位坐好

Now get back in your seat.

规矩是文明社会的柱石

Rules are the pillars of society.

我爱规矩

I love rules.

但规矩能给死人带来什么好处呢

But what benefit are rules to a dead man?

♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

少

年

谢尔顿

By aBu 20180323

请问一下

Excuse me.

我看起来像是要生病了吗

Do I look like I'm getting sick to you?

你看起来有点苍白

You look a little pale.

那太好了 一切正常

Okay, good, that's normal.

我知道谢尔顿是个非凡的孩子

Now, I understand Sheldon is an exceptional child,

话虽如此 但是呢

all right, but

当他故意违抗老师的命令时

when he willfully disobeys the order of a teacher,

得让他明白会有什么后果

there needs to be some consequences here.

我们完全同意

Oh, we couldn't agree more.

您打算给他什么样的惩罚

What kind of punishment are you thinking?

玛丽 他这样的情况大概是几天留校察看

Well, Mary, in a case like this, a few days of detention.

真的吗 有点重了吧

Really? That seems a little harsh.

留校察看没那么严重啦

Oh, detention's no big deal.

我当年的校长还用拍子打我屁股呢

Now, my principal used to whup my ass with a paddle.

那可让我学乖了

That got my attention.

对啊 当年那好日子啊

Oh, yeah. Those were the days.

我的拍子还在

Still have mine.

三尺宝拍

Ol' Spanky.

- 握把很不错啊 -是啊 乔治

- Got a real nice grip on that thing. *- Yeah, George.

专门请别地方的设备经理为我打造

Had the equipment manager over at the Astros make this for me.

中间这些孔洞

The holes in it...

能有效减低风阻

cut down on wind resistance.

高招

Smart.

但现在要打孩子得有家长同意函了

But these days you have to have a consent form

取得同意才能打

to whack the kids.

真不知道这世界要变成怎么样啊

I don't know where this world's headed.

等小乔治不乖 你也去搞一只这个

You ought to get one of those for when Georgie acts up.

干嘛一副你从来没想过请小乔治

Like you never thought about going upside his head

吃一顿饱拳的样子

with a slab of wood.

想当年啊 挥这拍子都挥到得网球肘了

You know, there was a time this thing gave me tennis elbow.

谢尔顿 来...

Okay, Sheldon, come o...

他去哪里了

Where'd he go?

那边

Thataway.

你干嘛呢 小屁孩

What you doing, kid?!

好好享受这一幕

Enjoy this. It is, by far,

这是我此生运动量最大的两分钟了

the most athletic two minutes of my entire life.

不好笑好吗

It's not funny.

哪里不好笑了

Oh, come on, now.

谢尔顿被留校察看 笑死了

Sheldon in detention-- that's funny.

我觉得这其实对会对他有帮助

I actually think it'd be good for him.

他得学到他并不特别

He needs to learn he's not special.

但他就是特别的孩子啊

But he is special.

你知道我不是这意思 他不能

You know what I mean. He can't just

想走出教室就走出教室啊 他没有特权

walk out of a classroom 'cause he feels like it.

他是担心会感冒

He was worried about catching a cold.

这是个很合理的忧虑

That is a legitimate concern.

而现在他陷入了被一屋子小流氓

And now he's in danger of being mugged

勒索抢劫的危险当中了

by a roomful of hoodlums.

他不会被勒索好吗

He's not getting mugged.

也就是几个孩子在教室写作业

It's half a dozen kids doing homework

然后有老师盯着他们

while a teacher watches 'em.

不过你给谢尔顿身上留几块钱也不是坏事

Although it might not hurt to give Sheldon a few dollars

给他自己留点买命钱

to buy himself some protection.

这主意还真不坏

That's actually not a bad idea.

你在干嘛

What are you doing?

没干嘛

Nothing.

那是嚼用烟草吗

Is that chewing tobacco?

是口香糖 你找我干嘛

It's chocolate Bazooka. What do you want?

我明天要被留校察看

I have detention tomorrow,

我觉得你可以给我一点建议

and I thought you could give me some tips.

你还蛮屌的 就这么直接走出教室

That was pretty badass, you walking out of class like that.

我不是故意想要那么"刁" 不过谢谢夸奖

It was not my intention to be bad "a" word, but thank you.

留校察看你唯一需要担心的一件事就是

The only thing you need to worry about in detention

就是离老师不够近

is staying close to the teacher.

当老师离开教室时 记得跟着他

If he leaves the room, you go with him.

为什么

Why?

你不跟着他 你小心被人"吊"起来打

'Cause you're gonna get your "a" word kicked.

你的意思是我可能受到人身伤害吗

Are you saying I'll be in physical danger?

全校最坏的孩子

It's all the worst kids in school

放学后被留在一个教室里一小时

in one room for an hour.

你觉得会发生什么事

What do you think's gonna happen?

我还以为我们要用那段时间反省自己

I thought we were gonna spend the time regretting our actions

然后想出我们未来该如何改进

and thinking about how we could be better in the future.

你想错了 退下吧

Well, you thought wrong. Get lost.

你对我又凶又好

You're both mean and nice to me.

好让人搞不懂啊

It's confusing.

或许我嚼法错了

Maybe I'm doing this wrong.

你被留校察看过吗

Have you ever been in detention?

没有

No.

不过我每天都是坐校车上学

But I do take the school bus.

车上也不是慈善之家

And that is no party.

更像是移动精神病院

It's like a mental hospital on wheels.

你这个明喻用得很好

That's a good use of simile.

谢谢

Thanks.

好啦 明天见吧

Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

希望吧

I hope.

大家好 我是来留校察看的

Hello. I'm here for detention.

老师在哪里呢

Where is the teacher?

还没到

Not here yet.

我有三块钱

I have three dollars.

欢迎你跟其他人分

Feel free to share it with the others.

内德

你会想要写纸上吗

Would you prefer a piece of paper?

我手提箱里有一些

I have some in my briefcase.

改变心意了告诉我就行

It's here if you change your mind.

好啦 废柴们 规矩大家都懂

All right, losers, you know how this works.

一个小时 不许说话 不许捣蛋

One hour, no talking, no horseplay.

谢尔顿

Sheldon?

你好啊 吉文斯老师

Hello, Mr. Givens.

你怎么在这里

Why are you here?

我不想被马克艾罗伊夫人传染感冒

I didn't want to catch a cold from Ms. MacElroy,

尽管她没给许可证 我还是走出了她课堂

so I left her classroom without a hall pass.

的确是有病在到处传

Well, something is going around.

我的嗓子眼也有点痒

I actually had a little tickle in my throat.

好吧 我该走了 很高兴认识你

Okay, time to go. Nice meeting you.

你这是干什么

Whoa, what-what are you doing?

你听过"战或逃"吗

You've heard of fight or flight?

我现在是逃

This is flight.

现在不那么好笑了吧

Not so funny now, is it?

- 是的 -他被停课多久

- No. - How long is he suspended for?

一周

A week.

而且这事会永久记录在他档案里

And it goes on his permanent record.

那没什么大不了

Well, that's no big deal.

我高中时期永久记录在案的事情多了

I had all kinds of stuff on my permanent high school record.

那也没妨碍我当了八年的酒保啊

Didn't stop me from being a bartender for eight years.

我觉得真正需要处理的事情是细菌恐惧症

I think the real issue we need to deal with is his germ phobia.

是啊 你可不想他变成霍华德·休斯

Oh, yes, you don't want him turning into Howard Hughes.

美国企业家及演员 晚年出现精神强迫症和洁癖

一年剪一次指甲和头发

指甲那么老长

Growing his nails out.

尿在罐子里

Peeing in a jar.

- 他为什么要尿罐子里 -我怎么知道为什么

- Why would he pee into a jar? - I don't know why he peed in a jar,

反正他就是这么做

I just know he did.

我真不想这么说

I hate to say it,

但我觉得这种情况我们需要帮手

but I think we need help with this.

什么帮手

Like what?

或许带他去看能让他冷静下来的那好医生

Maybe we could take him to that nice doctor who calmed him down

就是谢尔顿确信自己前列腺肥大那次

when he was convinced he had an enlarged prostate?

谢尔顿之所以冷静下来是因为医生告诉他

Sheldon only calmed down when the doctor told him

前列腺检查需要做些什么事

what happens in a prostate exam.

医生会将手指伸进病人肛门

可怜的小家伙

Poor thing.

现在有时还在念叨那事

Still talks about it.

谢谢你抽时间见我们 医生

Thank you for seeing us, Doctor.

不客气

No problem.

今天你是什么病啊 谢尔顿

So, what do you got today, Sheldon?

佝偻病 狂犬病

Rickets? Rabies?

早发性更年期

Early-onset menopause?

他是在开玩笑吗

Is he making a joke?

我觉得是

I believe so.

真幽默

Humorous.

谢尔顿没病

Sheldon's not sick,

但他对染上感冒或流感的后果有点过度恐慌

but he has become overly concerned with getting a cold or the flu.

有什么症状吗 流鼻涕 浑身酸痛

Well, any symptoms-- runny nose, achy,

- 喉咙痛 发热 -没有

- sore throat, fever? - No.

好吧 谢尔顿 就算你真感冒了

All right, well, Sheldon, if you do catch a cold,

或得了流感 那也不是世界末日啊

or even the flu, it's... it's not the end of the world.

1918年流感肆虐时期 对死去的

The flu was the end of the world for half a million Americans

50万美国人来说 流感就是世界末日

during the influenza epidemic of 1918.

- 是吗 -在印度

- Really? - In India

1700万人因此丧命

17 million people died.

好吧 我们有点岔题了

Okay, I think we're getting off the subject.

医生 谢尔顿害怕上学

Doctor, Sheldon is afraid to go to school

因为他觉得自己可能会

because he might get exposed

接触到某些细菌或病毒

to some kind of bacteria or virus.

所以他有恐惧症吗

So he's got a phobia?

如果威胁是真的 这就不是恐惧症

It's not a phobia if the threat is real.

您是医生 您应该知道这一点

You're a doctor, you should know that.

谢尔顿 你没什么可担心的

Sheldon, you have nothing to worry about.

就算你真得了流感

Even if you did get the flu,

通常一周内就会好了

it's usually over in a week.

为什么我们要听一个抽烟的人的医学建议

Why are we getting medical advice from a man who smokes?

- 谢尔顿 -好了

- Sheldon. - O-Okay,

我要去治真正生病的病人了

I have patients who are actually sick.

或许我们该说再见了

Maybe we should wrap this up.

你怎么能不被整天传染而生病呢

How come you don't get sick all the time?

因为我预防措施做得好

Well, I take precautions.

我勤洗手 戴手套和面罩

I wash my hands, I wear gloves and a mask.

妈 你今天过得怎么样

So, Mom, how was your day?

我们要假装看不见吗

We're ignoring this?

好吧

Okay.

真漂亮

So pretty.

怎么回事

What's going on?

我感觉不太舒服

I'm not feeling so good.

生物危害 生化危机

Biohazard! Biohazard!

笨蛋

Sucker.

国际新闻

In national news,

早发不常规流感季正侵袭我们国家

an unusually early flu season is buffeting the country.

医生说流感病毒株源自中国

Doctors say the strain, originating in China,

这次尤其严重

is particularly severe.

孩子和老人为高危人群

Children and the elderly are most at risk.

谢尔顿 你怎么还不睡

Sheldon, why are you still up?

我们都会死掉

We're all gonna die!

这一点都不好笑

This isn't funny!

我知道 宝贝 我知道

I know, baby, I know.

可你得明白有时候

But you need to understand that sometimes

新闻只是危言耸听而已

the news says those things just to scare people.

那它达到目的了

Well, it's working!

过来

Come here.

我知道你不相信这个

I know you don't believe in this,

但我还是要这么做

but I'm gonna do it anyway.

主啊 我为我儿谢尔顿祈祷

Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon

请你保护他免受一切病痛与疾病

that you protect him from all illness and disease,

护他健康 保他周全

and keep him healthy and keep him safe,

请你保护好他 从头到脚

and protect him from his head to his toes,

从里到外 阿门

inside and out. Amen.

你说得对 我是不相信这个

You're right. I don't believe in that.

但的确让我感觉好多了 谢谢

But it did feel good. Thanks.

在《圣经》里 这叫保护层

In the Bible, that's called a hedge of protection.

你为什么一直在笑

Why do you keep smiling?

宝贝 你得看看自己的口罩

You need to look at your mask, baby.

米希

Missy?!

我们得去上学 而谢尔顿却不用

We have to go to school, and Sheldon doesn't?

- 这不公平 -当然

- That's not fair. - Sure it is.

谢尔顿喜欢学校却不能去

Sheldon loves school and can't go.

你讨厌学习却必须去 公平

You hate school and have to. Fair.

他还是得在家做家务

He still has to spend his day doing chores.

不能光闲着玩他的火车

Can't sit around playing with his trains.

是啊 让他工作 好家教 老爸

Yeah, put him to work. Good parenting, Dad.

我很高兴你赞成

Oh, I'm glad you approve.

是的

I do.

你去哪里

Where you going?

我去给谢尔顿安排家务活啊

I'm gonna give Sheldon a list of chores.

你真的采纳了我的建议吗

You're actually taking my advice?

是的

Yes.

真想不到

Well, how about that?

你的建议合理啊

Hey, you were due.

为你骄傲 乔治

Proud of you, George.

谢尔顿

Sheldon?

在

Yes.

门锁了 你能打开吗

The door's locked. Can you open it?

不行

No.

搞什么

What on earth?

- 你好 -你在干什么

- Hello. - What are you doing?

我做了一个无菌的保护层

I made a real germ-proof hedge of protection.

亲爱的 你不能住在里面啊

Oh, honey, you can't stay in there.

我有冰箱 还有我的睡袋

I've got a refrigerator, I've got my sleeping bag,

如果我需要其他东西 都可以用乐高造

and anything else I need I can make out of Legos.

那你穿着万圣节的衣服干嘛

What's with the Halloween costume?

以防无菌层受到入侵

In case of a breach.

待在那别动

Stay right there.

正有此意

That's my plan.

乔治

George?

就在你认为他要转变的时候

Just when you think he's gonna zig,

他给你来了个大逆转

you get a big old zag.

真是荒谬 我要把这扯掉

It's ridiculous. I'm... I'm gonna take it down.

不行 你不能强迫他走出恐惧症

No, you can't force him out of a phobia.

我们该怎么做

What do we do?

他不能住在里面

He can't live in there.

事实上 他可以

Well, actually, he can.

他有冰箱和睡袋

He's got the refrigerator and a sleeping bag.

而且他随时可以在水槽里上厕所

And he can always go potty in the sink.

我去送孩子们上学吧

I think I'll take the kids to school.

你回家时他一定已经出来了

I'm sure he'll be out by the time you get home.

不知道你为何如此天真 但行吧

Not sure why you think that, but okay.

- 妈妈 -什么事 谢利

- Mom? - Yes, Shelly.

你能关门吗

Can you close the door?

我要"用水槽"

I need to use the sink.

- 谭美·库克 -到

- Tammy Cook? - *Here.

- 小乔治·库珀 -到

- Georgie Cooper? - Here.

谢尔顿·库珀 缺席

Sheldon Cooper? Absent.

- 你弟弟呢 -在家

- Where's your brother? - *Home.

他没事吧

Is he okay?

没事 他只是...

Yeah, he's just...

其实 他情况不乐观

Actually, it's not looking good for him.

他可能挺不过去了

He might not make it.

- 那太糟糕了 -是啊

- Oh, that's terrible. *- I know.

我真的很爱他

I love him so much.

如果他有三长两短 我真不知道该怎么办

If anything ever happened, I don't know what I'd do.

谢利 我能问问你吗

Shelly, if you don't mind me asking,

你的长远计划是什么

what's your long-term plan here?

我在计算如何将车库

*I'm working on the math to turn the garage

变为自我维持的生态系统

into a self-sustaining ecosystem.

好吧 那到底是什么意思

Okay. And what exactly does that mean?

我只需阳光和一些种子 就能有无限食物

Well, all I need is sunlight and a few seeds to grow unlimited food

我还会用自己的粪便来施肥

which I'll fertilize with my own feces.

这越来越好玩了

This just gets better.

如果你不打算帮忙 就进屋里去

If you're not gonna help, please go inside.

这不是娱乐节目

This is not a show.

这我就不同意了

Now that's where I disagree.

谢利 宝贝 拜托你快出来

Shelly, baby, please come on out.

不行

I can't.

快点 我可是你妈咪

Come on. I'm your mommy.

就当听妈咪话

Do it for your mommy.

不要

No.

但我是你亲娘啊

But I'm your mommy.

你们俩要逗死我了

Y'all are killing me.

"我是你亲娘"

*"I'm your mommy."

我想最悲伤的就是 这事有多悲哀

I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is.

我们能帮上什么吗

Is there anything that we can do?

我也不知道

I don't know.

或许拥抱会有帮助

A hug might help.

没问题

Of course.

你们俩是人吗

What's wrong with you two?

难道你们不关心我弟弟吗

Don't you care about my brother?

谢尔顿

Oh, Sheldon.

够了 我受够你的胡闹了

That's it. I've had enough of this nonsense.

如果你不出来 我就进去了

If you don't come out, I'm coming in!

一 二

One, two,

- 三 -受到入侵 受到入侵

- three. - *Breach! Breach!

- 你立马给我过来 -不要

- You come here right this instant! *- No.

谢尔顿

Sheldon! *

你不可能永远躲着我

You can't run away from me forever.

我不用一直躲啊 等你累了就行了

I don't have to do it forever. Just till you get tired.

玛丽 我赶紧去拿我的摄影机

Mary, I'm gonna run and go get my video camera.

别在我回来前抓住他

Don't catch him till I get back.

这可不是玩笑

This is not a joke!

谢尔顿 给我过来

Sheldon, get over here!

过来

Get over here.

谢尔顿·李·库珀 过来

Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here.

立刻

Right now.

天啊 我快兴奋得尿出来了

Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself.

过来 给我过来 谢尔顿·李·库珀

Get! You come here! Sheldon Lee Cooper!

瞧瞧啊

Look at that.

圣人玛丽居然在喝酒

St. Mary drinking alcohol.

上帝看到了刚才的事 他能理解

God saw what just happened. He gets it.

介意我试试抓那个小飞毛腿吗

Mind if I take a crack at catching the Road Runner?

你有什么我不会的招

What are you gonna do that I couldn't do?

我以前学会的招

Oh, a little trick I learned

用来把土拨鼠赶出洞

trying to get prairie dogs out of the hole.

当然 出来后我们会用球杆敲它们的头

Of course we'd whack off their heads with a golf club.

但我不会那样对谢尔顿

I'm not gonna do that to Sheldon.

小饼饼

Oh, Moon Pie,

我有好东西给你哦

I've got a little treat for you.

巧克力碎饼干吗

Chocolate chip?

刚从烤箱里新鲜出炉

Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.

很好 高温杀菌过

Good. That means they're sterile.

不如你出来 吃几块吧

Why don't you come on out here and... have a couple?

我不能那样做

I can't do that.

那这样吧

Okay, I tell you what.

我就把饼干放在外面

I'm gonna just put 'em right out here,

你准备好了就自己出来吃

and you can come out and get one when you're ready.

这样行不 我就把饼干放在

How about that? I'm gonna put 'em down

这里

right... here.

可恶

Come on! Oh.

听好了 小鬼

Listen to me, buster.

- 好的 -你有很多特质 谢尔顿

- Okay. - *You are a lot of things, Sheldon.

你可爱 聪明 讲卫生

You are cute, smart, hygienic.

但最重要的是

But most of all...

你 是德州人

you... are a Texan.

所以呢

So?

我们德州人

So Texans

无所畏惧

aren't afraid of nothin'!

无论是响尾蛇 印第安人

Rattlesnakes, Indians,

还是墨西哥军队

the Mexican Army.

你觉得山姆·休斯顿会惧怕小感冒吗

Do you imagine that Sam Houston was scared of a little old cold?

德州前州长 美国最出名的牛仔之一

不会

No.

吉姆·布伊呢

Jim Bowie?

德克萨斯独立战争中的英勇人物

不会

No.

茜茜·斯派塞克呢

Sissy Spacek?

美国女演员 出生于德州

应该 不会吧

I... guess not?

你说对了 因为他们都是不折不扣的德州人

You're damn right, because they're Texans through and through.

现在我要你别再躲在塑料泡泡里

Now I want you to quit hiding in this plastic bubble,

我要你出来外面

and I want you to come out here and

像个男人一样吃你的曲奇饼

eat your cookies out in the world like a man!

像个德州爷们一样

Like a Texan man!

真厉害

I'm impressed.

我也觉得

Me, too.

说到茜茜·斯派塞克时我还以为没戏了

I thought I'd lost him at Sissy Spacek.

如你们所见

As you can see,

我姥姥成功把我引诱回这世界

my meemaw successfully lured me back into the world

通过让我想起那些英勇的德州祖先

by reminding me of my brave Texas ancestors.

我的体内流淌着他们的血液

Their blood ran through my veins.

我是不折不扣的孤星州之子

I was a true son of the Lone Star State.

德州州旗上有一颗星 故德州又被称为孤星州

尽管

Albeit a true son

我有一个极其脆弱的免疫系统

with an incredibly fragile immune system.

第二天早上醒来时 我烧到38.8℃

I woke up the next morning with a temperature of 102

鼻涕流个不停

and a head packed full of mucus.

然而 也有不幸中的万幸

However, there was a silver lining.

♪ 软猫猫 暖猫猫 ♪

♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪

♪ 小毛球猫猫 ♪

♪ Little ball of fur ♪

♪ 笑猫猫 困猫猫 ♪

♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪

♪ 咕噜咕噜咕噜 ♪

♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪

再唱一遍 妈妈

Sing it again, mom.

先擤擤鼻涕

First, blow your nose.

♪ 软猫猫 暖猫猫 ♪

♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪

♪ 小毛球猫猫 ♪

♪ Little ball of fur ♪

♪ 笑猫猫 困猫猫 ♪

♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪

♪ 咕噜咕噜咕噜 ♪

♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪