文学翻译·《背影》The Sight of Father’s Back朱自清 [逐句要点分析]

背影  The Sight of Father’s Back     朱自清

我与父亲不相见已二年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。

It is more than two years since I last saw father, and what I can never forget is the sight of his back.

Notes: 通读原文，作者和父亲的关系始终不远不近，对于父亲的感情更是有敬重之意，因此统一“父亲”用词为“father”。第一句话从句式/用词上采用简单直译。

那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差使也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。

Misfortunes never come singly. In the winter of more than two years ago, grandma died and father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma’s funeral.

Notes: 这句话在翻译时，就有了显著的难度提升。“那年冬天”与“祸不单行的日子”意指同一段时间，将“正是祸不单行的日子”单独成句，避免单句内容重复。随后“祖母死了”“父亲卸差”为并列成分，照应单独成句的“祸不单行”。“in hastening home”更文学化表达代替“going back”。

到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。

When I met father in Xuzhou, the sight of the disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started tears trickling down my cheeks.

Notes: 此句将“看见满院狼藉的东西”这个动作句转化为名词句“the sight of the disorderly mess in his courtyard”。接着，“看见..”和“想起..”是两个并列的动作，共同导致了后面“流泪”。因此在翻译时 “the sight” & “the thought” started my tears.文学化表达为“ sth started tears trickling down my cheeks”。收录进“哭泣类”好句。

父亲说：“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路！”

Father said, “Now that things have come to such a pass, it’s no use crying. Fortunately, Heaven always leaves one a way out.”

Notes: 事已至此→“Now that things have come to such a pass”[固定短语]

           天无绝人之路→“Heaven always leaves one a way out.”[固定短语]

回家变卖典质，父亲还了亏空；又借钱办了丧事。

After arriving home in Yangzhou, father paid off debts by selling or pawning things. He also borrowed money to meet the funeral expenses.

Notes: 作者家在扬州，因此在文学翻译时有必要交代清楚“回家”地点，为增补法。后面“又借钱办了丧事”的译法又是独具一格的，值得借鉴。本人翻译时考虑到原文的句式“还了亏空/办了丧事”，采用了并列结构，为“and conducted the funeral by borrowing money”。

这些日子，家中光景很是惨淡，一半为了丧事，一半为了父亲的赋闲。

Between grandma’s funeral and father’s unemployment, our family was then in reduced circumstances.

Notes: “这些日子”分为“一半...一半...”因此省略these days用“Between...and...”代替。光景惨淡(情况很差)→“be in reduced circumstances”

丧事完毕，父亲要到南京谋事，我也要回北京念书，我们便同行。

After the funeral was over, father was to go to Nanjing to look for a job and I was to return to Beijing to study, so we started out together.

Notes: 基本的并列“be to do”表将来计划

到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。

I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtse River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the same day.

Notes: 第一句采用倒置法，将“勾留了一日”提前；并且用and链接了并列的“第一日”“第二日”。Thence  adv. 然后/随之

父亲因为事忙，本已说定不送我，叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。

Father said he was too busy to go and see me off at the railway station, but would ask a hotel waiter that he knew to accompany me there instead.

Notes: “不送我(但还是)叫人陪同”这层语义关系应当理解到位，避免句子衔接不当。“茶房”旧时指旅馆/餐馆/轮船服务员，因此译为waiter/attendant.

他再三嘱咐茶房，甚是仔细。但他终于不放心，怕茶房不妥贴，颇踌躇了一会。

He urged the waiter again and again to take good care of me, but still did not quite trust him. He hesitated for quite a while about what to do.

Notes: urge(力劝/敦促/叮嘱) 该句为短句串连，直译即可。

其实那年我已二十岁，北京来往过两三次，是没有甚么要紧的了。

As a matter of fact, nothing would matter at all because I was then twenty and had already travelled on the Beijing-Pukou Railway a couple of times.

Notes: 本句也采用倒置法，“没有甚么要紧的”的原因是“二十岁/来往两三次”。其中“来往两三次”应当交代清楚何地往来，即“the Beijing-Pukou Railway”。

他踌躇了一会，终于决定还是自己送我去。

After some wavering, he finally decided that he himself would accompany me to the station.

Notes: waver  v. 踌躇/摆动；为避免过于官方正式，用“he himself”代替“in person”。

我两三回劝他不必去；他只说，“不要紧，他们去不好！”

I repeatedly tried to talk him out of it, but he only said, “Never mind! It won’t do to trust guys like those hotel boys!”

Notes: 劝阻某人做某事→ “talk somebody out of (doing) sth”

我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。行李太多了, 得向脚夫行些小费，才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。

We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage. There was quite a bit of luggage and he had to bargain with the porter over the fee.

Notes：照看行李→see to luggage

我那时真是聪明过分，总觉他说话不大漂亮，非自己插嘴不可。但他终于讲定了价钱；就送我上车。他给我拣定了靠车门的一张椅子；我将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好坐位。

I was then such a smart aleck that I frowned upon the way father was haggling and was on the verge of chipping in a few words when the bargain was finally clinched. Getting on the train with me, he picked me a seat close to the carriage door. I spread on the seat the brownish furlined overcoat he had got tailor made for me.

Notes: 该部分需要靠意群分句，合理分句避免繁冗。此外，通读全文，此处的“聪明”和后续段落中出现的“聪明”都是作者反语，用 “smart aleck(自以为是的人)”paraphrase出作者的涵义。并且，培基爷爷对于“总觉得他说话不大漂亮”的处理也是很妙，用“frown upon the way...”一个frown表达出作者对父亲的不满。“on the verge of chipping in a few words” = “将要插嘴时”，因此，“就送我上车”并入下一句中。处理“将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好坐位”时要分清处修饰关系。

他嘱我路上小心，夜里要警醒些，不要受凉。

He told me to be watchful on the way and be careful not to catch cold at night.

又嘱托茶房好好照应我。我心里暗笑他的迂；他们只认得钱，托他们直是白托！

He also asked the train attendants to take good care of me. I sniggered at father for being so impractical, for it was utterly useless to entrust me to those attendants, who cared for nothing but money.

Notes: “迂”在这里作“不切实际”，其意为“没有见识”，因此用impractical.

而且我这样大年纪的人，难道还不能料理自己么？唉，我现在想想，那时真是太聪明了！

Besides, it was certainly no problem for a person of my age to look after himself. Oh, when I come to think of it, I can see how smarty I was in those days!

Notes: 用强调句代替反问句，对应“聪明(smarty)”。

我说道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望车外看了看，说，“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地，不要走动。”

I said, “Dad, you might leave now.” But he looked out of the window and said, “I’m going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don’t move around.” 

Notes: 经典的一句：“I’m going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don’t move around.”

我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。

I caught sight of several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach the platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. (没什么难度，直译即可)

父亲是一个胖子，走过去自然要费些事。我本来要去的，他不肯，只好让他去。

That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat.(修饰语的处理方式非常经典) I wanted to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go.

我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。

I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.

Notes: 该部分有很多一连串的动词衔接翻译。注意，中文中修饰语常常用“xx的xx”，在翻译时为避免头重脚轻，应当动词提前做先行词，后置修饰语。

他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。

His hands held onto the upper part of the platform, his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left(微微左倾), obviously making an enormous exertion(伴随状态修饰语).

这时我看见他的背形，我的眼泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。

While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed(涌出/喷出) from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying.

Notes: 本句核心亮点在于lest，拒绝being afraid of！

我再向外看时，他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。

The next moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands. In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. (直译)

到这边时，我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上，将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上的泥土，心里很轻松似的，过一会说，“我走了，到那边来信！”

When he came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, “I must be going now. Don’t forget to write me from Beijing!”(直译，但注意成分关系)

我望着他走出去。他走了几步，回过头看见我，说，“进去吧，里边没人。”

I gazed after his back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, “Go back to your seat. Don’t leave your things alone.” 

Notes: “里边没人”采用意译，理解为“座位上没人(看好自己的东西)”，因此译为“Don’t leave your things alone.”

等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下，我的眼泪又来了。

I, however, did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost among crowds of people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were again wet with tears.

Notes: 也是动词提前，条件状语句后置作修饰。

近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。

In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse.

Notes: “东奔西走”意译为“have been living an unsettled life”

他少年出外谋生，独(自己)力支持，做了许多大事。

Father left home to seek livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. 那知老境却如此颓唐！他触目伤怀，自然情不能自己。(他看到家境衰落，情不自禁为之悲伤)

 To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent(他压抑的情绪不禁发泄出来).

情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日。但最近两年的不见，他终于忘却我的不好，只是惦记着我，惦记着我的儿子。

That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry, and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me.However, the separation of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. (直译)

我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”

After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he says, “I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.” 

我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！

Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again!

Notes: “在晶莹的泪光中”看似修饰语，但实则作先行词提前，“我读到此处(信此处的文字)”作条件。

以上译文参考《英译中国现代散文选(一)》[张培基 著] 中的第9篇散文《背影》[朱自清]。由于自己的译文和培基爷爷的大作有显著差距，就不放出来尴尬自己了。相关系列专栏会继续制作，权当做考研路上的学习记录了，共勉。

如有错误、建议等，劳烦各位在评论区指出，友好探讨，感谢！